


Sister Lost

by CheerfullyCynical



Series: Whumptober2019 Malec/Shadowhunters [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Eight Months After Clary Lost her Memories, Emotionally hurt Jace Wayland, Gen, How the Gang Deals with Losing Clary, Hurt Alec, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Prompt Day Five: Gunpoint, Whumptober 2019, post last episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerfullyCynical/pseuds/CheerfullyCynical
Summary: Jace hasn't been the same since the Angels took Clary's memories away.Izzy just wanted them to feel normal. So, the three of them go on patrol.It doesn't go anything like they expect.XxXxXxXxXxXCatching up on Whumptober! Enjoy!





	Sister Lost

**Author's Note:**

> WHY CAN'T I WRITE SHORT FICS. I won't be able to ever catch up. 
> 
> Are you guys ready for Parabatai feels! I'm kind of terrible at writing Jace, so I hope it's...Decent. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It had been ages since they had a chance to go on a ‘normal’ patrol.

It was Izzy that brought it up. They were all at the Institute for breakfast, a feat that had disappointed Magnus but made his siblings ridiculously happy. And, really, Magnus could summon food from around the world, so Alec was _losing _the most in this act of kindness.

He got surprised looks from nearly all of the Shadowhunters when he did show up, nodding at Katie and Tyler, the two who were forced to cook today, as they all hurried to get the last of the bacon. Alec, as Head of the Institute, made his rightful grab towards it, but it was Jace who ignored the silent rule, stealing it right from his plate the moment he sat down.

Scrambled eggs and toast – he could be eating waffles with strawberries, smiling at Magnus as they both complained about their workdays.

The Shadowhunters next to the Lightwood designated table, Ryan, Lewis, and Samantha, tried desperately not to laughed at his plight, but Alec caught on instantly. He glared lightly at them, but this only sent them over the edge.

“Why?” He asked, deadpanned, turning his glare towards Jace, who was shoveling _his_ bacon in his mouth, “Why did I agree to this?”

“Come on, big brother,” Izzy said, also shoveling bacon in her mouth, “It’s been forever since we’ve had breakfast together.”

Alec huffed, but couldn’t help but agree. The day after Magnus and his wedding, instead of the honeymoon they had dreamed of, was spent in mourning, watching over Clary living as a mundane – consolidating Jace while he came to grips that he could no longer talk to her.

It was hell – had been hell for a while. As the months past, and as hints of Alec becoming Inquisitor became more reality then dream, Alec was forced to push Jace into missions, even when he knew his brother wasn’t ready. Jace, the perfect soldier, took to fighting demons like it was his lifeline. But Alec had lost countless nights, waking up Magnus in the process, feeling restless – needing to throw punches because of his brother’s anger.

They were both drowning in guilt and they fed it off each other.

It’s been close two three weeks since Alec had needed to get rid of that pent-up anger – a new record – and Izzy, sensing her brothers’ need, had asked them all to go to breakfast at the Institute, just like old times.

“Thanks.” Jace said, smirking, as he slowly chewed the last of Alec’s favorite part of breakfast. _Bastard. _

Alec stabbed at his eggs but couldn’t contain his small smile as he did so. Jace was _relaxed, _at the very least, and was finally eating a full meal without walking away from it. It was the tiniest hint of healing and Alec couldn’t be happier.

“So,” Iz said, “I was thinking we could go on patrol together – just the three of us.”

Alec nearly spewed out his coffee through his nose. It was just like his sister to, as the mundane’s would say, rip the band aid right off – or something to that affect. Magnus had said it once and it had stuck with him. Luckily, Alec was skilled at recovering from his sibling’s actions.

_Go on patrol together. _Raziel, when was the last time he had heard those words? It must have been before Clary, before Magnus – a lifetime ago. He couldn’t recall the last mission that just the three of them went on.

“Yeah,” Jace said, eyes brightening, “You got something to hunt?”

Iz smiled, all teeth, “A little dangerous, a little out of the Clave’s eyes, and a little partying in the mix.”

“Just like old times exactly, then.” Alec mumbled, but it was all an act. “At least now I don’t have to _not _report myself.”

The two of them rolled their eyes at him, but an excited energy was throbbing between the group. Alec wouldn’t trade his life for anything, or the journey he went on to get here, but it was crazy to think they he was _happy _about going against Clave regulations.

Or, maybe, nothing had changed. He was still doing everything he could do keep his family happy.

“_If _I find someone to cover my shift,” Alec said, playing his part of ‘rule-following brother’, “We’ll go.”

The two of them groaned loudly, Jace putting his head dramatically in his hands while Izzy punched him lightly across the shoulder, muttering something about Magnus and ‘letting lose’. Alec hide a smile once again, reminded strongly of them years ago, as kids, doing the same.

They ended breakfast on a light note, Katie and Tyler sneakily – or not so sneakily – putting a plate heaping with bacon, and only bacon, in front of Alec, much to his surprise. The Shadowhunters at the other table cheered loudly, clapping as if it was some big celebration. Alec laughed with them, thanking Katie and Tyler aloud, flabbergasted that they made the effort.

He was going to miss them when he became Inquisitor – All of them.

Jace, never to be outdone, stole the whole plate before Alec had a chance to get a single piece of bacon and _took off. _

“_Jace!” _He yelled, getting up from the table faster than lightning, Izzy right on his heels as he danced around the tables to a crowd of cheering Shadowhunters. Jace was out the double doors, sprinting, yet laughing hysterically, as not a single piece of bacon was dropped.

Even as Alec’s cheeks warmed into a blush and he cursed having Jace as a Parabatai, he couldn’t help but feel better than he had in months.

It was going to be a good day.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Alec did get _one _piece of bacon, so Jace didn’t get the privilege of an arrow in his ass. It was still a close call.

Alec, being his own boss, was able to get the night off. Luckily, Underhill was happy to take the shift in exchange for a Friday night (Magnus would complain later, but Alec had a feeling that Underhill _also _had a Warlock to go see), but the trade was worth it to see Iz and Jace geared up in the middle of the Ops center. 

“What do we have?” Alec asked, literally knowing next to nothing about whatever Iz had planned.

“Some rogue shapeshifts,” Iz said, proudly. For a moment, Alec had to wonder why she got her information, seeing as she was in a committed relationship with Simon. “Apparently, they think it’s fun to lead Mundanes straight to one of the Vampire dens.”

Ah, so Simon _was _the source. That was slightly better.

“Great,” Jace said, seraphic blade glowing. “Who doesn’t love a nice and easy mission?”

Ever the bother, and actually meaning it, Alec told them to still take it seriously. A shapeshifter wasn’t something to laugh about, no matter how many things the Lightwoods had seen in their lifetime. Not to mention, Alec was slightly – though he loved to admit it – out of practice with patrols. He was used to leading them from a distance at this point instead of _with _them. That wasn’t to say he couldn’t handle a couple of shapeshifters.

Iz had planned to take a taxi to their destination, a warehouse that was confirmed as being used by a small horde of demons, but it was Jace that suggested they Shadow Walk.

“What, getting lazy?” Jace said, a challenge in his eye, “Or maybe just out of practice?”

Iz, recognizing the signs that Jace wasn’t going to let it go, activated her runes without a word, leaping into the shadows and over apartments, laughing. “Come on!” She called.

Alec could feel how much Jace wanted to go racing through building to building with her – in a way that had Alec bouncing on the balls of his feet, energy blazing through his body as Jace activated his Agility rune. Alec got a glimpse of the angelic power through his bond, but by the time he could understand it, Jace was gone, following Iz.

Alec breathed deeply, also activating his own runes. He stood there for a moment, watching as Iz and Jace made their way up the buildings with perfect grace. For a second, he longed to open the bond completely with him.

He hadn’t done so since Clary. Jace was too hot headed and stubborn – too full of emotions that Alec didn’t dare push his own onto him. They could still feel each other, but they hadn’t been perfectly in sync ever since that day.

When Jace realized what Alec was doing, what with the small, gentle nudges at the bond, he forced himself to stop, letting Iz go ahead of him. Knowing they should talk, Alec made his way up as well, grunting when he realized how out of practice he was. Since when was climbing a ten-story apartment a problem for him?

“Should get out of your office more often.” Jace joked, but nevertheless helped him as he made a sloppy grab from one of the windowsills. 

“No kidding.” Alec replied, surprised himself. He wasn’t out of breath, but he was damn near close.

“Could help with that.” Jace said, awkwardly, looking pointedly at him, right where the Parabatai rune was.

Alec froze, heart aching to do so, but also knowing how bad it could turn out. Selfishly, Alec didn’t know if he could handle Jace’s pain – at least, the full capacity that he was feeling. That wasn’t fair to Jace and Alec knew that, but it also wasn’t fair of Alec to push his own feelings of Clary towards him.

Alec shook himself, grimacing when he saw Jace already turning away, continuing to hide. “Never mind,” He said quickly, “We got a mission.”

“No!” Alec said, just a bit too loudly. He winced once again, forcing himself to look Jace in the eyes, “No.” He repeated, forcibly, but couldn’t say anything else – didn’t know what else he could say that could make this any better.

“I get it,” Jace said quietly, obviously uncomfortable, “I’m…Vulnerable. Too out of touch.”

“I can’t – _won’t _hurt you,” Alec said, wondering how the hell they got to this conversation. “Jace, I closed the bond off because it wasn’t just _your _emotions that scared me, it was my own.” Alec placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, glad that he could do so, “_I _miss her to. I know it’s not the same, and I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling, but I didn’t want to hurt you more with my own-”

_Guilt. _Clary had written them _letters _instead of telling them in person because it was _his _wedding. She wanted them happy and, in turn, sacrificed her final goodbye… And that was on Alec.

“She wouldn’t blame you,” Jace said, tears in his eyes, “_Clary _wouldn’t blame you. And I don’t blame you.”

Alec nodded, somehow knowing that already, but it wasn’t any less painful, “Yeah.”

Jace rubbed at his eyes, looking frustrated, “This was supposed to be a normal night.”

“Never normal with us,” Alec told him, trying to lighten the mood, “Hasn’t been normal in…Forever.”

There was silence. The both of them were trying to figure out what the next step was. Alec missed Jace, missed knowing how he felt and what he was actually _feeling, _not just the cold, hard mask that he had permanently placed on himself.

Knowing that they both needed it, Alec threw Jace into a tight hug, feeling _something _shift between them. Alec was _tired _– tired of waiting for everything to be better, tired of missing Jace, _tired _of not being wholly there for his brother. Holding his brother even tighter, he allowed himself to _finally _let go, opening and stretching the bond, letting everything he felt through it.

Jace gasped in his arms, breath hitching. He, too, focused on it, unsteadily searching and poking and prodding at the very fragile peace that Alec so desperately tried to control within himself. They both got lost in the swirling emotions – some good, some bad – and let them get accustomed to this new _them. _

“I’m sorry,” Jace said, “Shit, Alec-”

“Don’t do that,” Alec said, breaking apart their hug to look him in the eyes, “None of this is your fault. _None _of it. And losing her wasn’t…Wasn’t penance or whatever hell you think this is.”

Alec could feel that emotion now on the top of Alec’s own guilt, pulling him deeper and deeper into Jace’s hurt. Jace took a deep breath, the anger that Alec had got glimpses of once again coming to the forefront. It was then that Alec realized that Jace was using his anger to hide his self-blame.

And then, Izzy was there, hands crossed over her chest and smiling.

“Come on,” She said, breaking the tension, “We got some demons to kill.”

Jace and Alec grinned at each other, letting Izzy be their rock, and without a word, both activated their runes, sighing in relief as it _flowed _between the two, in tandem, as it should be.

“What the hell are you people doing on my roof?”

They all froze, turning at the sound of a woman standing there. Izzy reacted on instinct, her whip coming to life in her hand. This didn’t help Mundane relax in the slightest. Instead, she brought what Alec realized was was gun, which was pointed at the floor, straight at Izzy, holding her at gunpoint.

Alec stepped in front of her, refusing to let anything happen to her.

_Bam!_

A sharp pain.

One moment, he was looking at this woman, watching her carefully. The next, he was on the ground, hands on his stomach, grimacing in pain as he hands gaze over _something._ When he moved his hands to his face, feeling something hot and sticky on them, it was with shock.

They were covered in blood.

Jace was screaming.

Alec opened his eyes, forcing himself up, only for Izzy to gently push his head back down on her lap, saying _something. _Alec couldn’t hear her over the rush in his ears.

Jace was drawing rune after rune on his body – over his heart. When had his shirt come off?

_“Please,” _Someone was saying, _“Please, you have save him. You have to!” _

Movement, and then _agony_. Someone was _stabbing _him, pushing the wound and causing stars to appear in his vision. He cried out, fighting whose ever hands were on him, but he was forcibly pushed down.

_“Magnus!” _

Alec closed his eyes.

XxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

He woke up in bed.

He would recognize the feel of the sheets anywhere – the soft silk and the large, fluffy comforter was the first give away. The second was the wonderful smell of his husband – sandalwood and the scent of his body soap. Alec breathed deeply, wrapping himself in the calm and pulling himself deeper into sleep. He was so _tired. _

“_Alexander.” _

Alec hummed at the voice, lips twitching into a smile. He tried to open his eyes open, only to let out a breathless cry, realizing just how much his stomach hurt. He tired to move his hands to the pain, but Magnus stopped him by gently grabbing his wrist.

“You with me?” Magnus asked him, bringing his other hand on to Alec’s face in a comforting gesture, “Let me see those beautiful eyes, Shadowhunter.”

Who was Alec to resist such a nice order? He opened his eyes, blinking against the harsh light. He blinked again, his worried eyes coming into view. “What?” He asked, completely confused by the turn of events.

Jace. Where the hell was Jace?

“Relax,” Magnus told him, “He’s in the living room, _finally _sleeping.”

Alec had to wonder how Magnus knew exactly what Alec was worried about.

“You’ve asked already,” Magnus replied, moving away for just a moment to grab a glass of water, “Several times, in fact. I would be offended, but Isabelle informed me what had happened.”

The shapeshifters, the roof, _Jace. _Memories were rushing at him in breakneck speed. Alec couldn’t imagine what Jace was feeling after opening the bond – had he felt Alec get hurt. Wait, how the hell did he get hurt?

“I got…” Alec moved slightly, grabbing at the glass of water offered to him, just now realizing how thirsty he was, “Did I get shot?”

It was the only explanation. Alec, though he was distracted, would have noticed a blade sticking out of him. He would have heard someone sneaking up on them. A gunshot was far enough away for it to pass right past his senses.

Magnus hummed in displeasure, “Some idiot Shadowhunters decided not the activate their glamor before running on top of Brooklyn apartments in the middle of the night. The Mundane is perfectly fine, but she _was _a retired cop with good aim.”

Huh. That would have been a hell of a way for the Head of the New York Institute to go – gunshot to the stomach by a Mundane cop. Ouch.

It was then that Alec noticed how tired Magnus was. He was waiting for Alec to hand him back the glass of water, at full attention, practically vibrating. After so many years with Magnus together, Alec could easily recognize the signs of his stressed Warlock.

“Come here,” Alec said to him, dropping the, thankfully plastic, cup onto the nightstand. He opened his arms up, ignoring the small jolt of pain he got from it, “Wanna hug you.”

Magnus let out a puff of air – a mock laugh – but followed the instructions, plopping himself ungracefully into Alec’s arm, mindful of the wound. The clung to each other tightly, Alec running his hands over Magnus’s back, not saying anything.

“Almost lost you,” Magnus whispered, “I _would _have lost you if Catarina didn’t keep up with Mundane medicine. She saved your life.”

Alec made note to thank her. For now, Magnus was the one that needed him. “I’m here.” He told him, “I’m so sorry.”

Magnus clung tighter, turning his tear filled eyes towards Alec. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alec had so much to do – to fix. He had to talk to Jace, had to find out what his…Injury had caused to him. He had to go the Institute and write a report about this, had to fill for days off to recover, had to talk to Izzy and begin her training.

But what was more important than any of that, Alec had learned through all their hardships, was making sure Magnus was okay.

So, they stayed like that for hours, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Safe.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> I really, really gotta stop writing long fics if I want to catch up to the correct day. But, I gotta admit, this was a wild ride. I had no idea where this fic would go. 
> 
> Sorry for the erupt ending. Maybe later in life I'll finish this up with the Jace and Alec talk. 
> 
> Have a wonderful day!


End file.
